Come on, as much as we all like to cook here, let’s admit it… We’re all a little bit nerdy. What, it’s true, you know it’s true! We all enjoy SOMETHING that’s kind of geeky, whether it’s Marvel movies, sci-fi novels, videogames or anime. If you claim that you have nothing that you’d completely nerd out over, you’re a bigger liar than the average presidential candidate (ooooh, a political joke, bet you haven’t heard a million of THOSE today). I personally have quite a lot of nerdy passions, even if you’d never know it from just reading my blog, so I figured… What the hell, why not combine them with my love for cooking? You’ve read the title, you know what’s coming – here I’ll be telling you about 5 fictional foods and drinks that you can prepare right now, in the comfort of your own home!
1. A Krabby Patty
A running gag in the show “SpongeBob Squarepants” involves the villainous Plankton trying out all kinds of crazy, convoluted schemes in an attempt to steal the recipe for the Krabby Patty – the incredibly tasty hamburger that is keeping Mr. Krabs’ fast food business flourishing. Well, don’t tell Plankton that, but, uh… I actually know the recipe, and it’s not nearly as complex and mysterious as you might think! Really, the Krabby Patty is, at its core, just a regular old hamburger with celery, tomatoes and some seasoning! You can check out the recipe here and, honestly, you can probably find all of those ingredients at your local supermarket.
2. The Portal Cake
If you were on the Internet at all in the late 2000s and early 2010s, you’ve undoubtedly heard people stating that “The cake is a lie!” That phrase comes from the 2007 videogame “Portal”, in which you play as a young woman trapped by an AI and forced to participate in the testing of a portal device. The AI promises that if you succeed in the tests you will be rewarded with cake, but if you manage to open a portal juuust right you’ll see the infamous “The cake is a lie” message scribbled all over the walls. But, as it turns out, the cake is actually not a lie – you get to see it at the very end of the game, and it looks delicious! So delicious, in fact, that I wouldn’t tempt you if you’d like to try it yourself. Here’s the recipe if you do. You know, just putting it there, not saying you should or anything. Don’t blame me if you get fat is what I’m saying!
3. Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
Ah, there’s nothing quite like a night of playing online casinos while sipping on a well-prepared cocktail! Maybe a martini (shaken, not stirred), or a margarita, or a Bloody Mary… Well, the next time you’re playing, why not try the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from “The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy”? The book describes it as the best drink in existence, “the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick,” so you know it’s gotta be good! Sadly, us Earthlings don’t possess most of the materials necessary to make an appropriate substitute, but this YouTube came pretty damn close! Enjoy!
4. Butterscotch Cinnamon Pie
In the hit indie game “Undertale”, you take control of a young, gender-neutral child that, after falling through a hole in a mountain, ends up in the Underworld which is inhabited by monsters. The child is soon found by the kindly goat lady Toriel, who takes them in and asks if they would prefer a butterscotch or a cinnamon pie. But since the child, much like many videogame protagonists, is completely silent, Toriel decides to make a butterscotch cinnamon pie instead! And honestly, while I’d have absolutely no idea how that would even taste, these guys actually went and made it. And honestly? It looks delicious! I suck at making pies, but I’d genuinely love to give this one a shot sometime just because I imagine that, even if I don’t like it, it’d have a very unique taste! By the way, quick note, the guys in question, “Feast of Fiction”, are all about making fictional food real, and I could’ve easily filled this list with their videos, so go check out their channel if you want more!
5. Health & Mana Potions
We all know how RPGs work! When the hero gets wounded, even if he or she is only a papercut away from death, a health potion is all they need to bring them back to the peak of their strength! Similarly, if they’re out of mana (whatever the hell “mana” even is), a mana potion allows them to continue casting spells like nothing happened! Honestly, I never quite got exactly how this worked, but, y’know, it’s magic, so I guess it doesn’t really need to be explained! But anyway, I’m ranting here. Despite how utterly convenient health potions would be in our world (“Oh, you have terminal cancer? Drink this, you’ll be fine”), sadly it seems like their effects will forever remain in the realms of fiction… But not their taste! A company actually made real health and mana potions which are available for sale right now! Apparently, they serve as energy drinks, so… I guess they kind of work? I don’t know, I’m not brave enough to try them. But if you have, let me know how they taste!